Caught The Sacred Riana on _America's Got Talent_ on AXN. I love the content of her illusionism, but I'm afraid that American judges don't like it when they are not in control of any situation. It makes them feel powerless--which goes against everything they ever worked hard for.

Home alone.

Angelique and J. off to do groceries, have dinner out, and watch a movie.

Aubrey hanging out with friends at a classmate's townhouse, and all of them are having dinner out.

Wearing Charlie Blue by Revlon of London.

http://tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook18.blogspot.com/2018/05/dramaturgy-for-theatreworks-singapore_31.html

http://tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook18.blogspot.com/2018/05/dramaturgy-for-theatreworks-singapore.html

Two cups of Christine's Al Bawardi coffee from the Middle East.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a new leaf in a leather-bound journal.

Had a Tropical-Fruit-flavored Gatorade at M.'s cafe.

Dinner at home with Angelique. Ordered hot and spicy buffalo wings from M.'s cafe.

Two more cups of Christine's Al Bawardi coffee from the Middle East. 

Brief, mid-afternoon rain shower in Cubao, but the earth remains hot and parched.

From the age of 60 onward there should be no more mysteries of life. It is therefore not true that the more questions you have, the more they will be unanswered.

Tony Perez's Notes On 21st-Century Parenting:

1) What you have to offer, offer first to your family and ensure that they benefit the most from it.

2) Your children will feel loved and secure only if they see that they enjoy the same comforts, luxuries, and conveniences that you do. 

Lock in only permanent pleasures and give no value to all impermanent ones.

Woke up from a two-hour, afternoon nap.

Aubrey out with friends through dinner, Angelique bought food at D.'s store.

Time is unpredictable when one has children and it's the long, summer break.

Must stop painting to dramaturge five new play manuscripts that came in from TheatreWorks Singapore.

The more I read up on Neanderthals, the more I am convinced that they did not become extinct, and that they somehow migrated to and have descendants in Metro Manila.

Your Messenger messages:


"sir tony magandang gabi. ano pong ibigsabihin po ng dalawang guinea pigs sa panaginip kp. nagulat po ako at nagising ako na nasa kama ko yung isa walang balahibo sa may leeg. yung isa naman po sobrang laki (taba). ang pakiramdam ko po sa panaginip ko ay nag panic ako dahil nakawala po sa cage. not sure po kung natakot ako. salamat po."


"magandang umaga sir tony. medyo kakaiba po panaginip ko ngayon. kasi nakaburol na tapos parang nag regain ng strength kasi sa una mumulat ng matabtapos parang gusto niyang lumabas ng kabaong tho pinipigilan siya. tapos nakalabas na siya. tho ako ay lumayo kasi natakot ako. weird lang kasi nung lumabas na siya parang bumata (from old age, pagkalabas naging super young adult siya. )tapos yun nakalabas siya ng kabaong . sabi ko nga, diba inembalsamo siya. pero nabuhay siya.
"salamat po."

My reply:

Hello ______!

The first dream reflects a depression you seem to be going through. The fat, oversize guinea pig represents life and prosperity, the guinea pig without fur round its neck represents suicidal thoughts. If you are on any kind of medication, I suggest you quit and go cold turkey through the withdrawal symptoms. Take a vacation, go somewhere you've never been before, engage in volunteer work to assist the needy.

The second dream is conveying to you that a cadaver in a coffin is a metaphorical image of defeat. Acceptance of defeat, however, is not actual death. The young adult who rises from the old person's coffin is a reminder that you can spiritually and psychologically revive or resurrect and face the world in a new beginning.

A cup of Christine's Al Bawardi coffee and some of the dates that went with it. Interesting flavors. They do go together.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a portable, Monet French easel.

Am hooked on NCIS: New Orleans even if all the episodes are replays on Fox (and not chronologically presented at that) because I like Dwayne Pride's ground-floor bar and upper-floor living rooms in the French Quarter. I'm pretending that my house looks like that, with M.'s cafe on the street side of the ground floor and our upper floor wrapped around with a steel balcony (minus the gingerbread and curlicues, which are hellish to maintain) and with all-around grilles with fire escape windows for security.

In eternal time, or in astral time, there is no need to greet spirits a good morning and a good night.

Two more cups very black, Kalinga coffee that my son Chito bought for me in Baguio.

Everybody home and off to bed early.

Might paint a bit later, but still thinking about it.

Woke up from a one-hour, afternoon nap.

Worked an hour on twelfth glaze on one painting.

The werewolf crossed the street to buy a chocolate ice cream cone.

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi/
(ce soir)?/"

We are in thousands, if not millions, of places called heaven.

In your father's heaven you are a successful and responsible professional.

In your mother's heaven you are a cute and playful child.

In your spouse's heaven you are a loving and devoted partner.

In the heaven of the person who has a crush on you, you are a passionate lover.

Each heaven has different mansions and different houses.

Each heaven does not include the people you do not like.

In each heaven, there is God, because God is everywhere.

You may not be everywhere yourself, but you are in all the places called heaven of everyone who loves you. 

Worked an hour on eleventh glaze on one painting.

Lunch at home with Angelique.

Aubrey and R. arrived from their last exam for the term and lunch out.

Both granddaughters now officially on summer break.

Worked an hour on tenth glaze on one painting.

A pad of antique, grade-school, Size 2 paper.

Tony Perez's Notes On 21st-Century Parenting:

1) Never say anything negative about one sibling to another. Both siblings will remember it the rest of their lives.

2) Never take one sibling's side against another. Both of them deserve your unconditional love.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a flaming stone in a little boy's slingshot.

Midnight is the witching hour only in remote villages, never in the city where it merely marks the time in workers' night shifts.

Actually read a lot of pages from Picasso: Creator and Destroyer to and from applying for my travel documents and clearances, and while waiting for them.

One-hour business meeting with M. He, too, had a stressful day. He visited his hometown over the weekend because their grandmother suffered a heat stroke. On the way back to Manila yesterday their bus had a flat tire and they had to wait three hours through dawn to get on another bus.

Gave him a shot of lambanog and told him to sip a little at a time.

It was quite a stressful day, and so I'll resume painting tomorrow instead of tonight.

Two deliveries arrived in the morning, I had to confirm my son Chito's dental appointment, and the entire afternoon was devoted to obtaining my travel documents and clearances.

Dinner at home with Angelique and J. Aubrey and R. are having their dinner upstairs.

Happy Birthday Tanet, Niran, and Ukrit!

Back from obtaining travel documents. Documents and clearances now complete. Not bad for two half-days.

Slept nine hours last night after that three-hour, deep tissue massage.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is wearing a cap with its symbol emblazoned on it.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

The werewolf crossed the street to buy a bottleful of roasted peanuts.

Three-hour, deep tissue massage.

One shot of lambanog for a woozy afternoon means that I have no intentions of painting today.

Never describe yourself as hitting rock bottom unless you are the Titanic.

Angelique arrived from Tagaytay.

Everybody home.

The higher you are, the least you can do is improve your country.

The lower you are, the least you can do is improve yourself.

At the end of each month, make a list of ten things you were able to accomplish. That should give you 120 good things a year.

Keep tabs on your life. They help you achieve contentment.

On Friday we transit to June, and half of 2018 will almost be over. We all have one more full week to make the month of May a fruitful one.

Watched features on King Tut and the Egyptian afterlife on History channel last night. Enjoyed both.

You need not feel guilty about being relieved of a burden.

Lunch at home with Aubrey.

Your Messenger message:

"Dearest Tony,
"Again a surreal dream. "It all started swimming and calling out dolphins. Then Beluga whales came from out of nowhere and started their singing. One morphed into human form and so did the others and started making loe to us humans. And they spoke to us. The image of the beluga whales that turned into human forms where the stereo typical mermaid look. And I was wondering inside the dream how I was able to penetrate the mermaid with blue eyes and vlonde hair. Then I flew to the top of a mountain where there was strife. I was King or the Son of a King. Many took turns into feeding me and helping me around the top of the mountain. The look was medieval, everyone looked liked they came from the series Game of Thrones and a western movie. I was led into a room of singing women. Dressed liked Parisians in the 19th century. Black and white races singing a song that I did not understand. Then I flew to a group of men with horses. I rode a wagon with my Mother who was telling me I was to go to my coronation. But the 4 horse led wagon was going fast and I was telling the wagon driver to slow down. It felt like a rollercoaster ride. And I turned to see what was happening at the back of the wagon. Many horses follwed but they were also fighting of a group of men trying to get to me. I jumped off the wagon and rode my own horse. And I asked for a saddle. There were shots that fired in my directions and I saw many of my so called army fall off their horses. The colour of my horse was a beigey brown with a blonde mane. I ended up being crowned but it was only with my Mother and the priest inside this great Church. I really want to know what these things mean. thanks"

My reply:

Hello ________!

Your dream reflects that you are currently torn between opposing values: humans versus mammals, ocean versus mountaintop, black versus white, fast versus slow, four-horse wagon versus single horse. You have recently married and it is normal for your subconscious to question, some time after marriage, whether you made the right decision and whether you would have been happier or not remaining single. This is part of the so-called period of adjustment, which Tennessee Williams wrote a play about. (Ironically his least celebrated and least published play.)

The ocean represents your feminine side. The dolphins and whales are female, and they, along with the element water, represent one kind of sensuality.

The mountaintop represents your masculine side. The horses are male, and they also represent sensuality, but of a different kind--the kind of sensuality brought about by speed and even by fighting.

Being married is often characterized by the idiom "settling down". It takes maturity and wisdom in order to be able to do so. You have not yet "settled down" because a part of you still clings to a youth and a wanton past that you are not completely willing to leave behind.

Embrace your new status in life with full commitment. Only then can your psyche crown you as king.

You grieve not for the deceased but for yourself, because you have been left behind.

Your Messenger message:

"Good afternoon, Sir Tony. Within the past year, I hit rock bottom. At the age of __, I should have established myself well and lived independently without having to ask my parents for financial support. I have constantly battled with that thought over the course of the years. Am I worthless? Why am I like this? I wanted to change but it doesn't come as easy as I wanted to.
"I manage somehow to alleviate the pain that it caused but it has consistently given me the same struggle after everything turns okay for a short while. I tried to see through my behavior pattern, tried myself to wake up and see beyond the struggles to no avail. I can't find the root cause of my bad habits, heightened anxiety, and depression. I am lethargic. I get irritated sometimes at the most trivial things. I seem to not know where I am going despite constant meditation of what could truly be my calling. It seems that, lately, I am just out of it. "I want to gain as much strength to change my luck but I tend to go back to my old ways. I take consolation from the thought that it is all part of my karmic debt. That I needed to experience this in order to be truly free. But, there just seems no end to it. I tried my best to be a ray of sunshine to everyone that I meet. But, I badly need that ray of sunshine to myself right now. If it is not too much, please help me think rationally through your advice. I am at my darkest of dark right now."

My reply:

Hello _______!

You need to have a circle of true friends who can frequently be with you and can support you emotionally.

There is one piece of advice I gave you more than once, and it seems that you have not acted on it: Seek counseling from a FEMALE psychologist who lives near you and who will not make money out of you. I cannot believe that no such person exists in your community. As you know, one doesn't even need a degree in Psychology in order to be an excellent psychologist.

In the end, of course, she will tell you that no one can help you but yourself.

Two cups very black, Kalinga coffee that my son Chito bought for me in Baguio City.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a brass foundry in the sky.

Back from the family dentist's. Chito needs to go back on Monday.

Dinner at the center with Chito. Paid our cable bill and bought another lantern.

Then went home and had a Sam Yang and German sausage dinner with Aubrey.

Restored throw pillows on the elephant chairs in the living area. Five huge paintings are now wrapped and ready for delivery, and the living area looks like a living area once again. 

Two cups very black, Kalinga coffee that my son Chito bought for me in Baguio City.

Regina sent me another bottle of potent, cobra bile. I now have two.

Lunch at home with Aubrey. Angelique with classmates in Tagaytay for a post-final-exam, overnight stay.

Now waiting for word from our family dentist informing me that my son Chito's long session is over.

Didn't paint yesterday and don't feel like painting today. I'll pick up after my travel documents are complete.

I DID finish the syllabi for the two playwriting workshops I am conducting.

Many people have been using the terms "going to the light", "crossing over", and "moving on" to depict the transition of a deceased person's spirit to a better state. This is even portrayed in the _Ghost Whisperer_ series that my sister Sylvia sent me as a DVD set from Sydney. In that series, spirits walk away and fade from view as though to travel to a distant place where they can no longer be seen or heard from.

My observation shows otherwise. Take the word "light" as the root word of "enlightenment". A spirit bogged down by earthly issues suddenly merges with the cosmic mind (or the divine mind, if you will) and suddenly sees everything from a macroscopic point of view. In computer imagery, the spirit is subjected to "Auto Correct", and all of its colors become clearer and more vivid. All of this can occur in a microinstant as long as the spirit is willing to be "enlightened".

Thus, all of the spirits of the deceased are very much still with us. They did not go to a place of intense brightness or cross a long bridge or ride a canoe across an astral ocean or get transported to a faraway location inaccessible to the living.

They simply stop communicating with us because WE are bogged down by earthly issues, and they are patiently waiting for US to be "enlightened".  

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a snowy TV screen.

Candy from the distant past. Missing these from my childhood.

It matters not whether you acknowledge a genius as a genius or not. He will go on being a genius anyway.

Spent the entire afternoon working on some travel documents. Accomplished much, but I am not yet done.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are white delivery vans.

Continued reading Picasso: Creator and Destroyer.

Worked an hour on ninth glaze on one painting.

Worked an hour on eighth glaze on one painting.

Your Messenger message:

"Hi ___. How are you? I just want to share a dream I had from the other night.I hope I can get an insight from you.Thank you and have a wonderful productive day ___!

"1.Parang isang eksena sa isang 'Documentary'.Mga gusali na tila factories.Isa-isa at dahan dahang nagsisipag sara ang mga gate o pintuan nito.Rolling doors.
Pag tapos ay parang naging 'eeire' ang buong paligid.Tahimik at walang mga tao.

"2.Nakita ko ang asawa ng kapatid ng aking misis na si '____' kasabay sa dalawang malalaking ahas na mistulang pababa mula sa itaas ng isang gusali.Papunta sa direksyon ni ____.Napakalaki ng ahas na mukhang kayang kaya kumain ng isang buong tao.Binigyan ko ng babala si ____ na maaari siyang lamunin ng mga ito.Naging 'birds eye view' ang aking tanawin habang nasa aktong lalamunin si ____ ng mga ahas.

"3.Tila parang nasa trabaho ko ang eksena na ito.Sa isang event na aking gagawin.May dala dala akong bagay na aking nailaglag,mga mahahabang piraso ng kahoy.Ngunit sa isip ko hindi ko rin alam kung para saan iyon dahil hindi naman iyon ang ginagamit ko sa aking trabaho.Kasabay nito ay mga tao na daraan sa aking harapan ngunit mapapahinto ng bahagya dahil may mga nakaharang sa daraanan.Mga net bag na may mga maliliit na ahas sa loob nito.Aking pinulot pra itabi at nang makaraan sana ang mga tao, kahit na ang pakiramdam ay may kasamang takot at pandidiri.Buhay ang mga malililit na ahas at nagpupumiglas makalabas sa net bag.

"4.Ako ay nasa isang bilyaran kasama ng ibang tao.Ng biglang nasa harapan ko ang aking dating kaiskwela noong High school.

Hindi ko siya gusto at may galit sa kanya dahil madalas siyang mang busko o mang bully.Sinugod ko siya at pinag susuntok gamit ang bola ng bilyar.Hanggang siya matumba at pumaibabaw ako sa kanya.Patuloy ang aking pambubugbog ng galit na galit hanggang sa tila mawasak na ang kaniyang mukha.

"Huwag po sana kayong matatawa and my interpretation is:
1.Self pity? Pagkababa ng self esteem?
2.Ako si '____' at ang malalaking ahas ay ang mga sitwasyon kong kinakaharap o haharapin pa lang.Ako ay nababahala na kung hindi ko ito lahat mai oovercome ay magiging trahedya o miserable ang lahat.
3.May mga bagay akong ginagawa o iniisip sa aking buhay na hindi naman direktang nakakatulong sa aking sarili. Kasabay nito ay ang pag focus sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman dapat alalahanin o paki alamanan.Nagsasabing ang bagay sa aking sarili ang aking pag tuunan at hindi ang problema ng iba.
4.Ito ay nagsasabi na ako ay parang nasa sitwasyon na napag daanan ko na dati.Mga problema na kailangan ko na naman harapin.Harapin ng walang takot at pag aalinlangan at ito ay aking muling mapapag tagumpayan."

My reply:

Hello _____!

I have always believed that the dreamer himself is the best interpreter of the dream, so go with your intuition.

I might just add:

When a dream occurs in several parts, all of those parts bear one, identical, message, as though your psyche wants to be sure that you are able to accept the message, no matter how painful, in different, metaphorical, message variations.

I see this dream possibly as your subconscious dissatisfaction with your married life. There are many times when you wish you were a bachelor all over again with the freedom to make decisions on your own. It could be that frequent disagreements with your spouse led to this dream. It could also be that making compromises has become tiresome to you.

1. Your psyche is showing you a documentary featuring a drab, unexciting existence.

2. Yes, you are '____'. You are watching yourself being devoured by social expectations.

3. You are torn between 'building' a new life, hence the pieces of wood, but are distracted by other matters related to social expectations.

4. You are back in high school. You vent your anger on a person who is single because you are unable to be single like he is.

On another level, see whether the snakes in your dream represent lust, rather than social expectations. If that perspective is more valid, there is a need for you to repress your urges, especially considering that you are currently residing and working in a country that has many, rigid rules.

Your Messenger message:

"Good evening, sir Tony. I was told by a friend about you interpreting dreams. I've been having weird dreams lately. Also, I'm two-month pregnant. I don't know if that has something to do with me being pregnant right now. But here are some of the dreams I had from these past few days. One, I was told by my uncle that the payment for his service will be given on October. And he's rendering the service now for a prenup shoot. We just had a film fest that almost got no funding and we still have lots of payables and the PF he's waiting will be paid for all those payables.

"Second, just last night, I have dreamt that I was in an island and all of the people in there are naked."


My reply:

Hello _______!

Yes, your dream is connected with your being pregnant. Your dream is about waiting and anticipating.

As to the island on which people are naked, you feel uncomfortable, if not embarrassed, looking pregnant to other people. Try to overcome this feeling, because it affects the child in your womb.

The werewolf crossed the street to buy a sugar-free guyabano shake.

According to my son Chito it is raining hard in Bulacan.

It's dark and drizzly in Cubao.

Lunch at home with Angelique.

Then worked an hour on seventh glaze on one painting.

Worked an hour on sixth glaze on one painting.

Tony Perez's Art of War: Remember this--a traitor always pretends that he is not.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun stirs beneath its golden blanket.

Evening session with a model. Took a lot of reference photos, though I know exactly how the finished painting will look like.

Everybody home.

Everybody had dinner at home.

There can be no love without trust, but there can also be no trust without love.

Sometimes I feel that the broadcast media thrive on crime and disaster, and that, without those, they know that they would not survive.

Unconditional love means giving your beloved infinite choices, including the choice not to love you in return.

An hour of studio work.

Then worked an extra hour on fifth glaze on one painting.

Back from jalan-jalan.

Had a banana split.

It was sweltering hot outside and I need to recover from that before doing anything more today.

Must go jalan-jalan and buy a bundle of joss sticks.

It is sheer irony when a long-time vegetarian tries to prevent me from eating what I am eating--and then falls terribly ill soon after.

It is also sheer irony when a fundamentalist preaches about faith--and then, on his deathbed, confesses to me that he is terrified of the unknown.

Had Mountain Dew today. Loving its unique flavor, like melted lemon drops, always making me think of that song from The Wizard of Oz.

Salvation, to me, is not only having a heavenly afterlife--it is having a heavenly corporal life too. Since one is first physically alive, its salvation must come before the other. It is the ultimate joy. It means that you can have your cake and eat it too.

Aubrey and R. are back from university. They had lunch on campus.

Two hours of studio work, an hour working on two workshop syllabi.

Been using Regina's dragon's blood soap for close to two weeks now and loving it. It turns my skin and the bathroom floor tiles red in the shower, then washes off and disappears. Makes one feel like Siegfried bathing in the slain dragon's blood, thankfully, minus the leaf. Uncannily, I did escape a few, potential mishaps during this time. 

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a roving spotlight on the stage of the world.

In the 19th century painting was all about seeing things differently as a result of challenges posed by photography.

In the 20th century it was all about mastery of technique as a result of challenges posed by computer graphics.

In the 21st century it is all about seeing things inside your inner space without the assistance of the breakthroughs of the previous centuries.

Everybody home.

Yet another hour of studio work. Now calling it a day for studio work.

A careful study of errata commonly incurred by computer users should lead to the improvement, if not revision, of the computer keyboard.

Dinner at home with Aubrey. Angelique still at college.

Another hour of studio work.

An hour of studio work.

Cherry stones are the hardest fruit seeds I have ever known.

Lunch at home with Angelique. Then she went to buy ballpoint pens for her final exams and proceeded to college.

Woke up to a bustling morning. An important delivery arrived, and then my sister Alice came to give me a box of fresh cherries.

A bamboo-green, atlas moth on the grills of our small loggia showed up as the symbol of my day.

Good noon, Cubao!

The sun is a polished, brass mirror.

Everybody home.

Angelique went to college, and so I had dinner at home alone.

Aubrey and R. arrived from dinner out.

An hour of studio work.

The werewolf crossed the street to buy a melon fruit shake.

"Take me for what I am/
'Cause I'll never change/
All my colors for you/"

--Whitney Houston

_Night Walker: Studies In Multiple Perspective_

This electronic exhibit was commissioned by my high school class, 4-F Elans, as one of its activities commemorating its 50th year. The beneficiary of sales is the Philippine Jesuit Aid Association (PJAA). Interested buyers should contact Mr. Ramon Puno via ramonvpuno@yahoo.com. Not me.

Artist's Notes:

Night Walker: Studies In Multiple Perspective

Tony Perez

New Works In Oil

I see rainbows even in darkness.

When I was 18 I loved roaming the streets of Cubao at night, taking in the lights and the shadows, marveling at how colors look different than they do in the daytime, passing by workers closing up shop, listening to their conversations and their dreams, merging with the district before going home and processing my observations in the privacy of my own room.

In this exhibit I revisit those nights and see how "closing time" can also mean "retirement" for myself and my former classmates of 4-F Elans, which celebrates its 50th year. It is an exciting time in life because the night never shows up treasures and surprises until someone shines light on them.

Most of these paintings depict scenes from my neighborhood, in Cubao. It is the height of the Philippine summer, and people are switching from incandescents to fluorescents to dispel the heat and generate the kind of brightness they can work by, and read by, and write by, and paint by, and see themselves all the better by.

I walk the night. Come, walk with me.

Pink Canteen

Oil on cradled canvas

36" x 36"

March 6 - April 6, 2018

Orange Burger Stand

Oil on cradled canvas

36" x 36"

April 10 - 19, 2018

Green Sari-Sari

Oil on cradled canvas

36" x 36"

April 24 - May 13, 2018

Blue Ice Dealer's

Oil on cradled canvas

36" x 36"

April 10 - 24, 2018

Yellow Food Stall

Oil on cradled canvas

36" x 36"

March 6 - April 6, 2018

Violet Waiting Shed

Oil on canvas

16" x 20"

April 25 - 30, 2018

Red Vendor's Spot

Oil on canvas

14" x 18"

April 30 - May 5, 2018

Brown Pick-up Point

Oil on linen

7" x 5"

May 6 - 9, 2018

Learned a new, Filipino word from Easter Canoy today: "balinsayao", meaning, "black onyx", in one of the Palawan languages. Apparently this black stone is indigenous to the northern part of the island. The legend about this stone, according to Easter, is that it will not melt when subjected to fire.

An hour of studio work.

Another tedious meeting on the art fundraising project being organized by my high school class for its 50th year.

I find myself asking myself in the midst of it all, "Exactly why am I doing this, again?"

Anthropologist Easter Canoy visited to give me a copy of her project publication on recorded oral traditions of tribes in Bukidnon that the elders and keepers allowed to be published. One of the elders is Bae Inatlawan, whom my family and I had the privilege of meeting in 2006.

Reverse hospitality? Easter brought her own lunch because she is a vegetarian--and shared it with me. Wheat bread, hash browns, and pasta with shiitake mushrooms and basil.

Altars and offerings

                            

A babaylan's glossary of terms

If there was anything nightmarish about my work before I retired, it was traveling alone to distant locations to conduct creative writing workshops, monitor heritage conservation projects, and meet up with Filipino teachers and students we were sending on short-term grants to the U.S. On one level it was a series of nights in strange hotels filled with spirits of the deceased, if not elementals. They kept me up most of the night. They were more hungry for conversation than the workshop participants, heritage conservators, teachers, and students were. But, maybe the worst part was being away from my family two or three nights at a time.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a thatched hut in which is kept a book of knowledge.

Read a few pages from Picasso: Creator and Destroyer. Three police TV programs later, caught another episode of Genius: Picasso on National Geographic.

Posted by my professor Manny de Guzman at Maryhill School of Theology:

"Sharing this reflections from my wall, with Tony's painting. - CHILDREN OF THE VOICE… It’s Pentecost Sunday, known popularly for the symbol of the tongues of fire for the Holy Spirit descending upon the community of disciples. Today I chose another symbol and another personage to speak of the birthing of the prophetic Christian movement…

"I’m wrapping up the academic year with defenses of final integration projects by student-groups. About 210 students sat in my classes this entire year: male, female; lay people, seminarians, priests, consecrated persons; in various ministries in the church and professions in civil society. Colleagues have been asking me if there are differences among the students in the different schools where I taught. I avoid directly answering them because of the diversity of course I directed and the range of number of students per class, from 10 to 49. I also respect the theological orientations or thrusts of the schools, and indeed there are differences, yet I try to be creative and productive in the spaces given to me as a laboratory for new landscapes and new sights. Some will say, 'It’s the school you choose' that matters. Maybe so. But the schools are as good as the teachers in the classrooms. There are teachers like me who teach across different schools and they bear their own disciplines as much as they leave their marks of theological personality and style which they impart to students.

"The mural below is a triptych of 'John the Baptist' painted by Tony Perez, a Filipino visual artist, lyricist, novelist, playwright, editor, clinical therapist, psychic trainer, and an alumnus of Maryhill School of Theology (M.A. Religious Studies). Measuring 5 feet x 12 feet, it hangs in the inner study room of the MST library. Whenever I sit and face the triptych, while preparing for my classes, reading books or papers of students, I find it as a constant reminder that we all are John the Baptist.

"We teachers are in the same boat as John the Baptist, whose role is to prepare the way for a deeper encounter with the Messiah. We do not make any miracles or exorcisms but hopefully like John teachers will be remembered for being the voice in the wilderness. That makes teachers examples for students to follow, that everyone’s calling has dignity to it and God seems to know better than we do and God seems to know better than what is in us (J. Green).

"Teachers of theology, again as John was, are a contrast-people to the world’s preferences. His voice in the wilderness is the voice that co-missioned him to prophesy against the ills of the world and announce the coming of a radically different world. John refused to be silent and it can be said that the prophetic Christian movement began with him: 'In his recorded teaching to the people there is not a word about the customary ritual of religion, about increased Sabbath observance, about stricter washings and sacrifices, or the ordinary exercises of piety. He spoke only of repentance, of ceasing from wrongdoing. He hailed the professional exponents of religion who came to hear him, as a brood of snakes wriggling away from the flames of the judgment. ... The way to prepare for the Messianic era and to escape the wrath of the Messiah was to institute a brotherly [and sisterly] life and to equalize social inequalities' (W. Rauschenbusch). As teachers we don’t teach just knowledge but a vision of life and a mission in the world. Jesus heard also a voice, The Voice. It is He who embodied the voice in actions through what he called the reign-of-God-already-in-our-midst.

"We are all the 'daughter of a sound' ('bat kol', בּת קול; 'kol' literally means 'echo' or 'whisper' but used in biblical sense it is 'divine voice'). Teachers could not have been using their voices if they didn’t hear and listen also to the voice within them and in the world around them, speaking of their vocation and mission. John and us, theology teachers, are path-breakers, path-makers, path-seekers. May all our students become voices of the voiceless in a divided and wounded world and trek the path of peace and justice no matter how dusty, winding, and precarious.

"Till then, happy vacation to students as we teachers need it too. Carpe diem, make your life extraordinary."

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Everybody home.

Two more hours of studio work.

Calling it a day for studio work. I just want to shower and then continue reading Picasso: Creator and Destroyer in bed.

Dinner at home with Angelique.

She finished reading 153 pages of a case study.

Two hours of studio work.

The proper way to do electronic encoding is to encode everything from beginning to end, allowing errata to occur. Afterward, go over the entire document and correct all mistakes.

Do not encode and then stop and then correct an error and then resume encoding. That breaks your line of thought and is more time-consuming. It is also the way of insecure people who have many things to hide, who do not admit their mistakes, and who do not wish others to see their weaknesses.

Do not be overly upset when you lose something, for such a loss happens to everyone.

Back from jalan-jalan. Paid our water bill.

Bought an outdoor lantern on a whim. Will place it on the small porch leading to the studio.

Lunch at home with Angelique. Aubrey having lunch out with her research group mates.

An hour of studio work.

Angelique now studying in the dining room.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is on the face of an ancient talisman.

Worked two hours on new workshop syllabus.

Saturday night. M.'s cafe is alive with nighthawks.

Another hour of studio work.

Margo visited. She won the SK elections.

An hour of studio work.

I'm happy to have retired from work and its huge responsibilities. I don't miss the big programs I handled on a nationwide scale.

Retirement is the time to handle bigger things. For myself, this time.

Lunch out with my younger son Chito, then brought him to the family dentist's. Bought a lot of art materials while waiting.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a faceted sardonyx.

For many young people, magic and witchcraft are merely forms of cosplay. They cannot tell the difference between that and the real thing.

10:43 PM. Lambanog night for me inside my captain's cabin bedroom, and for a group of tenants on the compound to whom I gave a bottleful.

Worked an hour on fourth glaze on one painting.

Worked an hour on third glaze on one painting.

Worked half an hour on second glaze on one painting.

Worked two hours on my new workshop syllabus.

Be proud to be an extraterrestrial if this planet has become too small for you.

Varnished a fifth painting.

Worked an hour on first glaze on one painting.

The creative person will not always correct an error. Sometimes he will convert it to a work of art. 

The maverick and the renegade always end up without a home, whether before, during, or after their adventures.

Friday, Friday

This will be a weekend of sadness for many, but they should take cheer, knowing that they are loved.

The mature parent will seek to make everyone, rather than only himself, content.

When everyone is counting on you, it does not behoove you to complicate matters.

The opposite of pride and arrogance is not humility.

It is modesty.

Humility is an invention of people who cannot stand the success of others, and so impose it on them.

These are my favorite tools for enlarging, reducing, and checking proportions. I prefer them to grids and to pantographs, which I find extremely tedious and time-consuming.