Vanitas/Photo by JR Dalisay

Vanitas/Photo by JR Dalisay
Vanitas/Photo by JR Dalisay, April 21, 2017

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Your Messenger message:

"Dear Tony... I have hesitated for weeks about writing you because I honestly dont want to disturb your peace by my emotional issues.. but I am thirsty, for lack of a better word, for wise advice from someone who would understand. I know this because some of your posts on the matter resonated with me. Lakas loob lamang na nag message po ako sa iyo, because I still consider you as my teacher even long after our classes have ended. I am still learning from your life, examples and yes, your posts.
I spent many years of my life organizing people/groups or trying to help them in different ways. I used to think it would give more meaning to my life, I have always had the heart for sharing or giving and helping, sometimes to the point of sacrificing my own resources, including time and money. A series of recent events have hurt me as I found myself placed in a bad light, my intentions doubted by people I considered my friends. I dont know if I can find the words to express this uncommon pain I am feeling.. combined with the sense of having been betrayed. People are disappointing, I realize this at 45. Now I find myself on an uncertain path.. where can I find the inspiration to set out again, and towards which direction? Maybe it’s a rhetorical Q, but what’s in my heart right now.. sir Tony, is gratitude for any word you may want to share with me as I try to find my way again..."


My reply:

Hello _________!

After several years of devoting yourself to volunteer work and community work, it is time to be selfish through the end of your life. Note that I myself never desired to be a classroom teacher forever--in every class of 30 only five were worth passing on my knowledge and wisdom to. I do have the Spirit Questors, but we are now very selective as to whom to take in and whom to extend assistance to. My community work at present is making paintings for Maryhill School of Theology; yet, I am doing this not because I like giving but because I enjoy painting, and tremendously.

Even when I had not yet retired in 2015 I'd already made up my mind to share myself and my time only with those whom I love: my family and a tiny circle of really close friends. Jolting as it may sound, it is, for me, the only way for everyone to die peacefully and happy.

I leave you here with the following food for thought, still as your teacher:

1. Do not teach everything you know to everyone.
2. Stop helping others. Honestly, it does not give you joy--it merely distracts you from your personal issues.
3. Know at all times that volunteer work means that you are setting yourself up to be used, and so do it only for a limited time, after which you should just let others take over the insanity.
4. Enrich yourself. Despite the "positive values" other people may stress, being rich endows you with beauty and power. In this world, money buys you happiness, and money buys you love.
5. Do not feel obliged to extend assistance to others, especially persons you dislike. They have the right and the freedom to suffer. It is even, as a matter of fact, called democracy. When people run to me because their houses are haunted or because they are being hexed, the first thing I ask myself is, "So what?"
6. Work for security, not for fame. I have observed that fame always leaves people in the lurch.
7. Avoid people you disagree with, and who disagree with you. It is also called democracy.
8. Stop giving gifts to people other than your relatives and very good friends. Because, it does not make sense.
9. When others criticize you, never take it seriously. Rub it in their faces by continuing to do what you are doing as long as you believe that what you are doing is right.
10. Do not be afraid to be envied. It is the best form of revenge.

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This electronic diary is continued on Tony Perez's Electronic Diary (October 19, 2018 - ) at tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook41.blogs...

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About Tony Perez

TONY PEREZ is a creative writer, playwright, poet, lyricist, painter, portraitist, fiber artist, sculptor, game designer, fashion photographer, and psychic journalist and trainer. He is one of the 100 Filipino recipients of the 1898-1998 Centennial Artists Awards of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. His other awards include the 13 Artists of the Philippines, the Gawad Pambansang Alagad ni Balagtas from the Writers Union of the Philippines, four National Book Awards from the Manila Critics Circle, a FAMAS Award for Best Story, five prizes from the Cultural Center of the Philippines Playwriting Contest, three prizes from the Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature, the National Fellowship for Drama from the Creative Writing Center of the University of the Philippines, the Irwin Chair in Creative Writing from Ateneo de Manila University, and a prize in photography from the Children’s Museum and Library, Inc.

Among Tony Perez’s plays are "Hoy, Boyet, Tinatawag Ka Na, Hatinggabi Na’y Gising Ka Pa Pala"; Anak ng Araw; "Gabún"; "Alex Antiporda"; "Sierra Lakes"; "Biyernes, 4:00 N.H."; "Sacraments of the Dead"; "The Wayside Café"; Ang Panginoon sa Driod; Isang Pangyayari sa Planas Site; and "Ang Prinsipe Ng Buwan". He wrote the librettos for the musicals Florante at Laura and Sa Pugad ng Adarna for Tanghalang Pilipino and the opera La naval for University of Santo Tomas. His two major drama trilogies are Tatlong Paglalakbay: Tatlong Mahabang Dula ni Tony Perez (Bombita, Biyaheng Timog, Sa North Diversion Road) (University of Santo Tomas Publishing House) and Indakan Ng Mga Puso(Oktubre, Noong Tayo’y Nagmamahalan Pa; Nobyembre, Noong Akala Ko’y Mahal Kita; and Saan Ba Tayo Ihahatid ng Disyembre?).Biyaheng Timog was produced as A Small Matter of Sacrifice in New York City and as Trip to the South in Singapore, and Sa North Diversion Road, as On The North Diversion Road, in Melbourne, Australia. His mentors in literature and drama were Onofre Pagsanghan, Rolando Tinio, Bienvenido Lumbera, Nicanor Tiongson, Virgilio Almario, Cecile Guidote, Nestor Torre, and Randy Ford. His plays for radio, television, and film were directed by Sonia Roco, Lino Brocka, Lupita Concio, Mitos Villareal, Nick Lizaso, Joey Gosiengfiao, Gil Portes, Maryo de los Reyes, Frank Rivera, and Anton Juan. He was featured in National Geographic/Discovery Channel’s “Psychic Detectives” in their Asian Enigma episode.

Tony Perez’s published books include Albert N.: A Case Study and the five volumes in the Cubao Series titled Cubao 1980 At Iba Pang Mga Katha; Cubao Pagkagat Ng Dilim; Cubao Midnight Express; Eros, Thanatos, Cubao; and Cubao-Kalaw Kalaw-Cubao by Cacho Publishing House. His Anvil Transpersonal Psychology Series includes The Calling: A Transpersonal Adventure; Beings: Encounters of the Spirit Questors with Non-human Entities; The Departed: Encounters of the Spirit Questors with Spirits of the Deceased; A Young Man Cries for Justice beyond His Grave Volume I; Stories of the Moon: Further Adventures of the Spirit Questors; Songs of Sunset: Incantations and Spells by the Spirit Questors; Mga Panibagong Kulam; Mga Panibagong Tawas; Mga Panibagong Orasyon; Mga Panibagong Orasyon sa Magica Cantada; Mga Panibagong Ritwal ng Wicca; Mga Panibagong Kulam sa Pag-ibig, and the new series Maligayang Pagdating sa Sitio Catacutan and Malagim ang Gabi sa Sitio Catacutan. He co-authored a children’s book, Inang Bayan’s New Clothes (Anvil Publishing Inc.) His plays, fiction, poems, original knitting patterns, acrostic puzzles, and illustrations were published in various anthologies, textbooks, and magazines including This Same Sky: A Collection of Poems from around The World (edited by Naomi Shihab Nye, Macmillan Publishing Company), Tenggara 23: Journal of Southeast Asian Literature (Jabatan Persuratan Melayu, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia), New Writing from the Philippines, Volume 33 (Philippine Studies Series), Modern ASEAN Plays: Philippines (edited by Nicanor G. Tiongson, ASEAN Committee on Culture and Information), A Habit of Shores: An Anthology of Poems, 1965-1974 (edited by Gemino H. Abad, Bureau of National and Foreign Information), Building Communication Skills 6 and Gems of Philippine Literature (Department of Education, Culture, and Sports), Rogue Magazine, The Philippine Star, The Philippines Free Press Magazine, The Sunday Times Magazine, Mr. & Ms. Magazine, andWoman’s Home Companion Magazine. Some of his works in Filipino were translated into English and French. He conducts "Writing from The Heart," a creativity workshop in writing, drawing, and drama to beginners and professionals, and especially to underserved audiences such as faculty and students of public schools, community theater groups, the disadvantaged, the disabled, children in conflict with the law, abused women and children, victims of human trafficking, prisoners, gang leaders, drug rehabilitation residents, and people in need of trauma therapy.

In 2013 Mr. Perez decided to post all of his old and new works in cyberspace to make them available to a wider range of people.

Tony Perez’s artworks have been showcased in 21 individual and group art exhibits curated by Marian Pastor Roces, Nonon Padilla, Bobi Villanueva, Judy Sibayan, Lalyn Buncab, Nilo Ilarde, Ernie Patricio and Jun Veloso, Chari Elinzano, Reverend Father Loy Divino (CICM), and Raven Villanueva. Among his art teachers were Araceli Limcaco-Dans, Brenda Fajardo, Virginia Flor Agbayani and Ben-Hur Villanueva of the U.P. College of Fine Arts, Florencio Concepcion and Fernando Sena of The Saturday Group, and Rafael del Casal.

Mr. Perez holds an A.B. in Communications and a Cand. M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Ateneo de Manila University, an M.A. in Religious Studies, magna cum laude, from Maryhill School of Theology in New Manila, and certificates in Publication Design and Production from the Department of Journalism at the University of Wisconsin and Fundamentals of Graphic Design from the University of California at San Francisco. He taught as adjunct lecturer at Ateneo de Manila University, De La Salle University, Saint Scholastica’s College, Maryknoll College, and the Philippine High School for the Arts. His master’s thesis, titled Pagsubok sa Ilang: Ikaapat na Mukha ni Satanas was published by Anvil Publishing Inc. in 2005 and was awarded the National Book Award for Theology and Religion by the Manila Critics Circle in 2006.

Mr. Perez has two sons, Nelson I. Miranda and Chito I. Miranda, four granddaughters, Angelique Pearl Miranda, Nielsen Tegelan, Aubrey Rose Miranda, and Chevy Keith Miranda, and one grandson, Chrysler Vince Miranda. His daughters-in-law are Agnes Tegelan and Ivy Vercasion. They live in Cubao, Quezon City, where Mr. Perez has resided since 1955.